"Anyone can slay a dragon. . .but try waking up every morning and loving the world all over again. That's what takes a real hero." - BRIAN ANDREAS
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As I sent my children with their father this evening, I experienced a wave of emotion that can only be described as acceptance. This is the rest of my life: sending my children to their father's every other weekend.
I remember reading - oh, years ago - a reflection by a woman whose custody agreement was split 50/50. She talked about wandering her house, looking in on empty beds and missing her children. I'm going to be honest. I am happy for my 48 kidless hours twice a month. I don't spend those hours in any exceptional way. I sleep - a lot. I watch what I want to watch on Netflix. I exercise (sometimes). I work. I clean. But for 48 hours, I don't have to worry about making sure other human beings are staying fed, hydrated, or clean, let alone productive, creative or connected to me. I could worry about whether they're eating vegetables at their dad's - but, hey. 48 hours without veggies won't kill them. And worrying will only rob me of what teensy bit of sanity I have remaining. A friend calls me a "Divorce Baby," which he defines as anyone in his or her first year post-divorce. I still have several months until I level up (September 24, but who's counting?) but I am looking forward to a summer of beginnings as I learn to accept my new reality.
1 Comment
5/7/2016 05:59:36 am
Oh, hey, new blog post! You could add "writing" to the list of things you do every other weekend (or more often) if you keep it up! There's nothing wrong with enjoying and taking time for yourself to recharge. Still... Being divorced also men's you're allowed to have a bit more fun on those weekends than just Netflix and cleaning... when you're ready for it. Hope you find the time to fully enjoy yourself. It's hard to find a new balance after any change. I'm glad to see you're finding yours.
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